Kidding.

Unfortunately 😉

Twas the night before Christmas 🎄 

And all through the house 🏡 

All the demons were fiending 😈

Drugs were their vice ⚖️

Hmmm. 

That’s pretty damn poetic in my opinion. Maybe writing poetry is going to be my new fantasy career? A new get rich quick scheme for 2023?

Maybe this is it!?!

I’ll finally become rich and famous as I was always meant to be…

All thanks to my ability to rhyme random shit.

Uhm.

Go me!

 🙄

*definitely not implying that poetry is not a legit form of art or anything. That was pure sarcasm oh faithful followers and my demonstration that just because something rhymes, it does not mean it is poetry.

FOR THE RECORD

YES

🥂I am intoxicated!!

🎄 Tis the season and all!!

✨️ Normally I do not encourage drunken blogging/letters/phone-calls/texts but this is an exception. This is an end of the year post. A summary of what I have accomplished since last year.. or whatever. 

Proceed to a drunken rant about nothing in particular

I’ve always had a thing about New Years and the whole “new year, new beginning” attitude. Maybe despite all the sarcasm and cynicism…and a lot of Fireball.

There’s still a small part of me that is, hmm… maybe not innocent (hahaha, me innocent) but close to that… Trusting? Naive? Maybe that’s a better description? Ya know, the little girl in me who still wants to trust and believe in people? Who never wants to believe the people she loves as family or friends would ever do anything to hurt her. The eternal optimist and hopeless romantic that still believes everything is going to be ok, as long as you have faith. 

Oh, and of course, love always conquers everything. 

Duh.

Ok..

12:24 on 12/24 

Almost! It was actually around 12:45 when I started and I have had several cigarette/drink/laundry/bathroom breaks since then.

But, yeah. It’s the day before Christmas.

Probably the worst holiday I have had since 2000, 2001? I am trying to hold everything together. We’ve played the game this long, let’s finish up the year and not kill each other?

Too much to ask?

I’m suspicious that this was some subconscious ploy to give me more time to back out on and just keep on the madness…

Hell. Maybe I enjoy the torture? 

Who knows?

Not me! Never me!

I’m feeling:

(in no particular order)

Lazy

Complacent 

Scared 

Sad 

Confused

Conflicted

Yeah. I could go on. Add a few more adjectives, get more descriptive about everything I am feeling.

But 

Damn…

EVEN I am bored with my bitching and indecisive attitude.

Fuck!!

So this is it. One last week of having an “excuse” as to why I’m still in the same place, the same situation as about five months ago when I finally came to the startling conclusion that… “Oh yeah. I am miserable! I hate my freaking life and, hot damn! I am sooooo not happy. Oh and the number one thing that needs to change is my marriage, the main part of my life that I have done ignored and pretended was OK for way too long now” 

I’ll try and get another post done before the new year. Maybe a real end of the year post instead of random drunken rant about nothing.

But then again.

Crazy

Drunk

Rant

It’s actually a pretty damn good summary of 2022!

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