Is there anything you feel too old to do anymore?

There’s a ton of stuff I’m supposed to be too old for!

  • Long hair
  • Certain clothes – short skirts and shorts, skimpy summer dresses, bikinis, combat boots, spiky leather belts and accessories, piercings
  • Bar hopping, partying till dawn
  • New careers
  • Starting over
  • Loud music
  • Concerts
  • Bad decisions

But the number one thing?

Having kids. Yep. My number one duty as a woman is slowly coming to an end. I’m not in menopause or anything, but I’m over 40. The likelihood of me ever passing on my exceptionally awesome genes is highly unlikely without medical intervention.

FTR. I always assumed that I would. I tried. I did everything from counting out days and making graphs to practically standing on my head after sex. Of course I didn’t make any effort till after I was married. Before that, I was always very careful. I never wanted to bring a child into this world with no assistance. Not just financially either! I’m talking about raising a decent human being and not another crazy ass juvenile delinquent like I was.

I’m not a bad person, I have morals – they may only make sense to me, but they do have a certain Sami kinda logic. Genetically I am good. No horrible family disease history and mentally, just “eccentric crazy” not ” crazy serial killer ” crazy. Definitely smart, lots of teachers, authors, lawyers etc Though a complete lack of any common sense is a family thing for sure. Name the Roman Emperors in alphabetical order. No problem! Looking up from your phone before you cross the street to see if there’s any cars or putting your cell phone number on your Facebook or Tinder profile.

I swear I’m smart!

I just don’t think I would be a good influence on a child. I’m not the best at responsibility and certainly have no clue of how to take care of myself let alone someone else.

I don’t mention my mom much. But I will always give her props for managing to raise me without any financial or personal assistance from my dear old dad. Mom, crazy bitch she is, raised me alone with no help from any man or government assistance like food stamps. How she managed I can not imagine. I don’t think I could. I might not be perfect but I’m alive lol could have been worse I suppose.

All in all I may never have kids that are biologically mine and I do wonder if it’s maybe for the best. I’m not exactly very good at caring for the sick and helpless. Compassion is not a quality I possess. Nor is patience. All in all I am too selfish. Much like my piece of shit father. There’s a great thesis on Nature VS Nurture…

But I digress…

To sum it up. I don’t think I will ever have children of my own. I think it’s too late.

maybe its for the best anyway..

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